Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

2023-08-24

OT: What they think I do meme


A few years back, I ran across this IT meme, and made some equivalent memes that apply my own industry. The original: 

Tech Support

  • What my friends think I do
  • What my Mom thinks I do
  • What Society thinks I do
  • What my Boss thinks I do
  • What I think I do
  • What I actually do



CAD Operator

  • What my Mom thinks I do
  • What my Friends think I do
  • What my Boss thinks I do
  • What Society thinks I do
  • What I think I do
  • What I really do



CAD Manager


Facility Manager

2015-10-17

AutoCAD 2016 impressions in pictures

My workload this year hasn't left much time for blogging, but, I've spent some time in smaller/faster formats like Twitter and Instagram just to capture some thoughts (I'm MissDorkness on Instagram and MistresDorkness & AUGIatAU on Twitter).


#ACAD2016 now supports frames on MTEXT


#AutoCAD 2016 does drag and drop for Layouts


Point clouds are much more intuitive to work with, partially thanks to Dynamic UCS in 2016.


There are other improvements that are worth reading up on...


This feature is about leaving hatch draw order unchanged... I don't know what release its from, but, it is worth mentioning.




2014-12-28

OT: Lord of the Rings punwar

If you've been here to my blog, you can identify two of my great loves fairly easily... Puns and Lord of the Rings.

Back in October, I posted a LOTR joke on Facebook (after it completely flopped at work), and, because I have the most awesome friends on the planet, it spiraled into the world's best punwar. I think it is worthy of preserving for posterity:


Melanie Stone: I sometimes forget I'm no longer surrounded by nerds.
A couple of my coworkers were complaining of being cold, and two others said they were warm.
When my opinion was solicited, I firmly stated that it was so hot in here, I just saw two hobbits walk past and throw a ring at me.
~crickets~

Jesse Dowling: Whatch' you talkin' bout Baggins's?

MS: Just making literary references, it's a bad hobbit of mine.

Chris Benner: No matter how hard I try, your pun humor simply dwarfs mine!

MS: You're so kind. I can't seem to help mys elf.

JD: Oh no you didn't! IT takes a lot of Goll-um... to start a pun war like that.

MS: Oh no I did ent?
Oh yes I did!

CB: you just keep dragon 'em out of nowhere...

MS: My bad sense of humor is the Oliphaunt in the room.
I am such a huge dorc.

JD: This could turn in to a real Eye-Saur-on this thread...

CB: you really should learn to con troll yourself.

MS: Singin Eoh, where's my Lego
las

JD: that really Stings.

MS: Nice earWormtongue, eh? Here's another:
If you like it then you shoulda put a GlamdRing on it!
Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Daron Denton: One does not simply change the thermostat.

JD: It's getting so thick in here it's like Smaug.

DD: It's bad, for Shire.

MS: It's not that big of a bombadil.

DD: All this banter gives mithril. 

MS: It's not Faramie to be this witty, is it?

DD: Are you baggins for attention?

CB: Should we all take an Otho to stop?

DD: Don't tell me you're getting Sauron all these exchanges?!?!

CB: I'm just afraid if I go to far someone might Mordor me.

Jason Wagner: Haha.. Wait until its time for Tauntaun marker jokes!!

MS: You'll all orthanc me for this later.

CB: Yawn... this is starting to boromir me...

Steve Bennett: The Hobbit: Decimation of Language.

MS: Aryagorn to stop reading now?

CB: ... was looking for a way to use that one!

MS: Shoulda kept looking. As you know, not all those who wander are lost.

SB: I'll only stop reading if you have one pun to bind them all.

CB: I've heard that somewhere... ah well, the road goes ever on...

MS: My eyes are starting to tirith with laughter.

DD: Well, now that Samwiseguy defiled this beautiful masterpiece with StarWars posts, the moment has passed.

MS: His attempt was better than luke warm.

Robert Green: You're still surrounded by nerds HERE!

MS: ~smiles~ I needed the Company, that's why I came here... It's like being in a cozy hole in the ground.

JW: All of these posts are precious...

Michael Drozda: It TOOK me awhile but I'm catching on...

MS: I wish I had a Brandybuck every time it Took me awhile. ;)

MD:

Shannon Stone: Ahh, MY sister! Melanie, every time I think I must be the biggest nerd alive - you remind me that I cannot compete with your nerd knowledge.

MS: Shannon, it's so nice that you envy my vast superiority. Or my vast posteriority, whichever.
These punwars are a gray haven for a nerd like me.

SS: I definitely envy both!

MS: Minas is pretty impressive, isn't it?

SB: YOU SHALL NOT SURPASS MELANIE!!!!

MS: Say u man. 
Not that I'll argue, cause if I did, arwen by a landslide.

Diane Fioretti: I am a nerd but wouldn't get that one either. I get what a hobbit is but have never seen the movies or read the books.

MS: We are no longer friends.

SB: So much for that^^^ fellowship...

MS: Ah, she'll give me a ring and we'll be as cool as Caradhras.

Scott Wilcox: One does not simply make LOTR puns.


My friends and family and I love trivia games, so, if you haven't tried Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit, I recommend that. It IS based on the movies, not the books, so that makes it more challenging for all of us. 
I have always wanted their version of Middle-Earth Risk, and The Battle of Pelennor Fields, but I just so couldn't justify another one. Heh. 

One of my AUGI friends was kind enough to send me a Lord of the Rings chess set, and it is one of my favorite sets ever!

2013-11-11

All my tech support genius

I have said it time and again, only slightly tongue-in-cheek, that all of my most appreciated 'genius' moves are attributed to these simple secrets:

There ya go... hope I haven't done myself out of any jobs by giving it all away like this.

You'll find this mug on my desk and t-shirt in my closet... I don't use a mousepad, but, I should get some of these for gifts. Lol. http://www.zazzle.com/missdorkness


2012-11-05

You've been using Navisworks Too Long When...


You know you've been using Navisworks too long when...

... you organize your kitchen into selection sets. Spices, baking goods, plates, glasses, silverware, sauces.

... you're driving down the road on a rainy night, can hardly see in front of you and you wish you could adjust your clipping planes to see what's further up the road.

... you see someone talking on the cellaphone while driving and think "There should be a rule against that!" and then you start figuring out the selection sets in your head to make the rules.

... you have 13,300+ clashes in your model, you create a rule that narrows down one process pipe and the insulation on it that's causing 5,100 clashes and when you get excited about your results, you can't find anyone that understands you.

... you've ever been to a New Balance shoe store and asked the attendant if they have one with a Green N on the side.

... you've just read through this list and at least 3 of them apply to you.



Thanks to Paul Jordan for sharing these with me. Anyone else have anything to add to Paul's list?


Looking for some more laughs?

You know you've been using AutoCAD too long when... 

You  might be a Redneck CAD Tech if...

You might be a Design Diva if...

If Poe did CAD... 

2012-05-02

Autodesk Facility Management Suite 2013

IF Autodesk delivered a Facility Management Suite (which they do not), here is what should be in it.


Facility Management Suite - Standard

AutoCAD MEP
Revit MEP
Raster Design
Image Modeler
Vault

For the Premium Suite, add Showcase and Constructware
For the Ultimate Suite, throw in Green Building Studio

Yes, I know what a couple of you are thinking. You're wondering why I did not include Navisworks (or Adobe Acrobat Viewer) on my list.
Navisworks Freedom is not a Facilities Management (CAFM) tool, and Navisworks Manage has some great features, but, they are extreme overkill for day to day operational needs.

If some have found uses for Navisworks post-construction, in the built environment, that is great! But, in the opinion of someone who has been working in the Facilities Engineering department of a six million square foot medical center (where any given space is renovated once every thirteen years, but, maintained every day) for well over a decade, I declare that it is not a viable approach long-term.

See this conversation on the AUGI forums for thoughts and ideas from both sides of the fence:
http://forums.augi.com/showthread.php?117785-Linking-Data-Spreadsheet-to-Navisworks-for-Facility-Management

We take in data from various construction projects. We archive the project, then work the MEPFP components into a patchwork quilt which we work off of. If we make one-off changes in-house, those will be drawn up and changed on our documents (using AutoCAD MEP or Revit MEP). We then distribute bits and pieces of this information to architects, engineers and general contractors who work on the 50-75 construction projects we have going on around our campus at any given time.
Since we are over 100 years old now, we do have a vast library of scanned blueprints spanning a century of new construction and renovations. Raster Design would be a fabulous addition to our toolset, filling in gaps in our more current electronic records.
With so much information in our archives (that might need to be accessed at any random time), and with such a geographically scattered work team, a good data management solution is in order.
 In their spare time, our staff engineers attempt to find ways to modernize our buildings and reduce our energy consumption. Once they identify projects, they must sell them to our executives in order to compete for the scant funding available.

Well, now that I have shared what should be in an Autodesk Product Suite geared toward the Facilities customer, I will be serious for a moment and let you know that I will soon have the opportunity to post a review of the AutoCAD Design Suite, if you'd like the chance to read about something that actually is for sale.

2011-10-04

I haven't heard of this command...

I don't think this dialog box exists in AutoCAD, but, based on some deliverables I've gotten, it wouldn't really surprise me...

(for anyone who is curious, this is a spoof of the Cleanup Tools available in MAP and Civil3D
Edit: here's another blog post describing the tools and how best to use them: BeingCivil)



I created this dialog in Visual Studio. 


2011-05-22

OT: Lord of the Rings Pickup Lines

Undeniably, the most popular post on my blog is (WAS) the one entitled Geek Pickup Lines. Strangely enough, one of the top searches that brings people to my little corner of the interwebs is "Lord of the Rings Pick up Lines". Due to my mention of the books in my profile. =>

Yes, that is sort of sad, given that this blog is dedicated to the serious and the professional... ~pause~ Okay, maybe not entirely. One reason I take so much pleasure in my work is that my colleagues enjoy a good laugh (see also: "You Might be a CAD Diva if...").

You can see more proof in the "LOTR Punwar", it left me in stitches! 

So, I think to myself... "Self, give the people what they want!" And, the people obviously want some Lord of the Rings Pickup Lines! So, I hit Google and found that, while there might be much innuendo, there were few one-liners of the type for which I was searching.
At the bottom of this post, I pasted in some of what I found, but, first, I'm going to try my hand at crafting a few original Lord of the Rings pickup lines:

  • You don't need One Ring to find me.
  • Baby, you're hotter than the cracks of Mount Doom.
  • Your rejection would destroy me like an Ent destroys Isengard.
  • So, hey, how about that Weather... top?
  • My love for you is deeper than the lodes of Mithril in Khazad-dum.
  • Speak, friend, and enter... your number in my phone.
  • I'll be your Isildur and you can be my bane.
  • I couldn't help but notice all of these losers circling you like Nazgul... why don't we get out of here and go back to my Mathom-house?
  • No, we haven't met, unless you count in the Mirror of Galadriel.
  • Your beauty has pierced my heart like a Morgul Blade.
  • I'm not usually this forward, but, you've broken down my barriers like Grond.
  • ~offering the Red Arrow~
  • Was that a Middle-Earthquake? or did you just rock my world?
  • I've heard about a great new club... want to go There and Back Again?
  • You've got beautiful eyes, they sparkle like the Mirrormere.
  • I'd climb the Endless Stair to be with you.
Well... what do you think? If you can do better (and I am sure you can), please leave a comment below.

http://forum.barrowdowns.com/archive/index.php?t-12304.html
  • "If you are not Luthien, then you walk in her likeness."
  • Sauron: "I've only got Eye for you"
  • "Pardon me, but are you elvish? You've been running through my mind without pause!"
  • "If loving you is El-Rond, I don't wanna be El-Right!"
  • Thorondor: Going my way?
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=13200722300
  • If you were an orc, I'd be sting. When you're near me, I glow!
http://people.rit.edu/kjm7425/iweb/midterm/bookLOTR.html
  • If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it, precious.
  • Are we in Lord of The Rings? Cause I swear you're my precious... 
http://www.dorkly.com/article/15910/6-lord-of-the-rings-pickup-lines
  • You shall not pass... without giving me your number.
http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090601184318AA4iGsL
  • Certainty of death, *small* chance of success... What are we waiting for?
  • "Why couldn't Tom Bombadil hear the telephone?"
    • "Because the ring had no effect on him."
  • "Give me a ring later."
  • "What's a nice elf like you doing in a place like this?"
  • "Didn't we meet at the orc siege the other night?"
http://www.minastirith.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=16;t=000054;p=

(/\ please note, this thread contains a lot of innuendo, only click if you don't mind that sort of thing)
  • Sauron: "I've had my eye on you for a long time, baby."
  • Gollum: "Want to see my precious?"
  • Denethor to guard: Come on baby, light my fire.
Just in case any of these pickup lines work, don't forget to pick up something suitable for your love: 
  • One Ring
  • Nenya Ring
  • Ring of Barahir
  • Elven Leaf Broach
  • Elven Leaf Necklace & Earrings
  • Arwen Evenstar Necklace
  • Tree of Gondor Earrings
  • Not all those who wander are lost necklace

2008-07-03

Nerding of America

I just read an entertaining column from one of my favorite local Post-Dispatch writers, Bob R (I can't spell his last name, but, I can pronounce it!).

He's written a piece with examples of how nerds, dorks and geeks are taking over America, from business to movies and bookstores. Sweet.

You can check it out here.

2008-03-11

Pi day is March 14th!

Well, well, well. It's every nerd's favorite time of year again... Pi day!

Find out more on the Official Pi Day site.

Show your support for your geeky brethren and... erm... sistern, and sport some pi wear (my favorite is the digits mug), geeky humour shirts or just ThinkGeek.

2008-01-18

Interesting Job Advertisement

When reading the local paper today, I happened to notice an interesting job solicitation listed in the sidebar:

When I shared this find with my pals and expressed a little baffled amusement, my friend, Sam, states the obvious employment expectations 'Must be able to Fix drinks'.

2007-12-02

Mistress of the Dorkness in 1982

Alright, Scott.

I shall rise up to meet your challenge.


I really enjoyed the trip back to 1982 that Scott Sheppard posted here, Alive in the Labs.
Nice hair, by the way, Scott. ;)
I am impressed by the solar panel though, I'll admit.


Shaan Hurley, Vegas's favorite beta geek, already ponied up and joined in the reminiscing.
So, he's answered the question 'What would Shaan look like with hair?'. There ya go.


So, the point of this post...

What was the Mistress of the Dorkness like back in 1982?

Well, I had just moved back to the United States and was living in Utah.

Ever the free spirit, I wasn't sporting the normal straight-or-ponytail hairstyle that most of you are familiar with.




2007-11-05

Poll: Mike Perry's Blog

Alright, friends and readers... some feedback, Por favor.

You may know that my husband is a regular contributor to news items, etc over on BLAUGI (the official blog of the Autodesk User's Group International).

He reads a lot, always keeping up on current events, technology, developments, etc. Many of the items he passes along to me aren't really CAD/Design news, so he doesn't post them on BLAUGI often. BUT, he does talk about starting his own blog to post about a wider variety of things.

So!

Poll question #1... Should Mike Perry start a blog?

Poll question #2... What should he call it?

We all get a little creative from time to time, but, when it comes to naming things, Mike (you can recognize him on any and every forum as Mike.Perry) can be a little less than imaginative.
I, of course, suggested he call his weblog 'Master of the Dorkness', but, he was, shall we say, less than enthused about that idea. But, wouldn't it be cooler than 'Mike Perry's blog'?

Please, cast your vote and make your suggestions in the comment area to give him some more creative ideas.

2007-10-18

How the Data Center Views FM

This is SO far off the mark of reality...

It wasn't so long ago that the facilities management (FM) team stalked the corridors of office buildings with greasy blue coats and large bunches of keys. That image is now as out of date as carbon paper and typing pools: Today's facilities manager is more likely to be found in a white short-sleeved shirt behind a 21-inch flat-screen monitor looking at CAD drawings and updating an asset database in a high-tech basement lair.



Well, you know, because... I don't wear white, short-sleeved shirts, first of all (overall, I think we FM'ers are a handsome and stylish bunch).

Secondly, and most important... I do NOT have a 21" flatscreen... I have a 20" AND a 19" (Facility Managers scavenge, ok we don't have big budgets like the data center does).

Seriously, the above quote is the opening paragraph of an article for those IT guys that manage servers, etc and tells what an asset their Facility Manager can be to them.

Although, it does make the assumption that a facility of any reasonable size has a working CAFM system in place.

A facility manager can help with a number of environmental factors, purely because he has a complete overview of a building and its current and planned future uses — something IT staff probably lack. "Obviously you don't want the IT department creating a data center when there are kitchens on the floor above because of the danger of leaks," Janus points out.

But the real issues are power and air conditioning. Air conditioning is the number one consumer of power. Servers, as anyone who has worked in a data center can testify, generate a great deal of heat. The high density racks that are becoming increasingly common in today's data centers consume vast amounts of power, and a similar amount of power is needed to dissipate this heat. That makes the planning and layout of the data center, and the provision of power and air conditioning equipment, crucial.

This falls clearly under the FM purview.

How can FM help? In an organization of any size, it's likely that the facility managers will have a computer aided facility management (CAFM) package at their disposal. Among other things, a CAFM will usually store CAD floor plans of the building and a database of assets. For the data center, this will likely include plans showing the layouts of racks. In many cases, the database will hold the location of each server, the applications running on these servers, and information about the departments that "own" each application, where relevant.

Software tools can also carry out calculations to work out the amount of power that must be supplied in a given area of the data center, and the corresponding cooling capacity needed to remove the resulting heat. Information like this is clearly invaluable for the IT department because no matter what IT strategy is in place, the available power and cooling capacity presents constraints. The only way the IT department can be free to install and run the hardware it wants is if FM has already put in place the power and cooling it requires. And the only way for FM to know the IT requirements is for the two departments to communicate regularly.



:-/

It's okay, I'm not bitter... one day, that WILL be me.

I do support any effort to break down divisions and foster communication and sharing between different 'information kingdoms', which is a huge hurdle for any Facility Manager. We each have our specialized skills, knowledge and resources that help our buildings, systems and companies function.

2006-10-09

Cubicle Wars Funny

Alright, this was the Friday Funny on FacilityBlog... I'm gasping for air over here...
of course, I'm a nerd... you, faithful reader, might feel differently. ;) I hope you enjoy as much as I did.

Facility Friday Funny

2006-10-03

Quick Report - Gateway AUG Meeting

We had a good meeting tonight, just under 30 attendees. Exchanged some great tips and exposed those present to some products/procedures in some projects. Mike Perry presented on AutoCAD Tips and Tricks using AutoCAD 2005, and Brian Myers walked through a project sharing information between AutoCAD, Revit, ADT, ABS and Design Review.

Expect a post later this week going into detail on the Tips and Tricks Mike went over during his part of the presentation, he'll be helping me flesh out my notes so that you can easily follow along.

We did give away two seats of Autodesk Software to a couple of lucky winners... and to the less lucky, we handed out half a dozen red swingline staplers.
(if you don't think that's hilarious, you've got a movie to rent)


GAUG member Mike M will soon be using Autodesk Raster Design and Nikki S will be using Architectural
Desktop 2007.

2006-09-21

Nerd, Geek or Dork? Find out.

Alright, my smarty-pants of a husband sent me a link to a test. The much-debated... is Melanie really a Dork? can finally be solved.

I call myself a dork, but, somewhere deep inside have viewed myself as a geek...

well, the official call is PURE NERD!

56 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 17% Dork

Alrighty then.

From the site:
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Now, compared to others of my Age and Gender:
I scored higher than 42% on nerdiness
I scored higher than 61% on geekosity
I scored higher than 15% on dork points

2006-08-28

Loads of Very Cool Tech Links

How Do You Use Your Blog? - take part in this survey of bloggers and they will email you the results 30 days after it closes

"This is perhaps the most inventive human-powered device that's come across my desk this month. It's a design concept for a wireless yo-yo powered MP3 player. The inventors estimate that between 10-12 tosses per hour are sufficient for continuous music play. A wireless headset allows the user to listen to music while yo-yoing. Chris Aimone and Tomek Bartczak created the design, and recently took home the Pop Sci and Core77 award for best human-powered device."

Thanks to Mark Kiker for the following...
or, the cursor you get, the further you fall?
or, what's the point?

alright, I'm running out of puns :-/ moving swiftly along...

Hey, while I'm up here, check it out!
50 hits on AutoCAD videos on YouTube

40 hits on AutoCAD on google video.

27 hits on Revit

58 on Autodesk ( neat one on Design )

Duct Tape outfits can add up to cold hard cash for high-school students.


The ticket gate electricity generation system relies on a series of piezo elements embedded in the floor under the ticket gates, which generate electricity from the pressure and vibration they receive as people step on them. When combined with high-efficiency storage systems, the ticket gate generators can serve as a clean source of supplementary power for the train stations. Busy train stations (and those with large numbers of passengers willing to bounce heavily through the gates) will be able to accumulate a relatively large amount of electricity."

erm... Tele-airhockey-conference?

This just looks too handy... oh, and for the curious, my brit hubby doesn't know why the reviewer is snickering? Anyone care to enlighten us?

From 'trash' to 'flash'... recycled rubber purses!

Need to charge the battery for your portable electronic devices? Try this handy charge box!

And, finally, the most mind-wobblingly-useful class I've ever taken at Autodesk University (and that is saying A LOT!) presented by Daniel Abbott - 'Changing hundreds of AutoCAD drawings in a hurry'.
Be sure to check out all of the other handouts here... (this was under 2004 - Customization)
(free registration is required, if you've already signed up and you can't remember your password, contact member services, don't start a new account please. thank you)

Something that might also be of note... the ransom to free the maps (DRG) was successful! GIS-ers rejoice.

Happy CADding!

2006-08-20

Office Work Is Funny

Funny? Familiar? Fantastic... a sampling of Useless Office Skills.

Through this site, I found links to other great (ie... funny and pointless) sites like this one, which shows more than 1000 Business and Computer cartoons. There's some good stuff in there.

There's also a link to a site called LaughNet, which includes jokes about Computers and the Workplace. I think I've read most of these before, but, it's always good to revisit and have a chuckle.

And of course, the quintessential office comic, Dilbert.
And, Scott Adams' Dilbert Blog. Stimulating and amusing reading, you should check it out...



Here are some site I've come across in my web wandering...

Nukees comic.

Heroes of Engineering comic on ASME.

Here's an eyeopening bit about Entertaining Engineers.

And of course, if you want to get Technically Funny, you can't forget Engineer-turned-standup comedian, Don McMillan. He was on Bob & Tom (radio show) earlier this week. Check out the video clip posted on his site, you'll want to buy his video.

You really can't talk about office humour without mentioning Ricky Gervais, creator of The Office.

And, finally, one of my favorite work experiences that we like to laugh about in the office.

In my facility we have one particular enclosed walkway which has always had problems with its cooling system. One day, I was walking through and stopped to talk to the HVAC mechanics who were up in the ceiling working on the equipment (which had been turned off during the repair, of course).

A little ways past us, they had set up a large fan to facilitate airflow during the downtime.

As we were talking, another employee walks past us and in front of the fan. She then declares loudly with incredulity 'Uh! Even the fan is blowing out hot air'. :-o