Back in October, I posted a LOTR joke on Facebook (after it completely flopped at work), and, because I have the most awesome friends on the planet, it spiraled into the world's best punwar. I think it is worthy of preserving for posterity:
Melanie Perry: I sometimes forget I'm no longer surrounded by nerds.
A couple of my coworkers were complaining of being cold, and two others said they were warm.
When my opinion was solicited, I firmly stated that it was so hot in here, I just saw two hobbits walk past and throw a ring at me.
Jesse Dowling: Whatch' you talkin' bout Baggins's?
MSP: Just making literary references, it's a bad hobbit of mine.
Chris Benner: No matter how hard I try, your pun humor simply dwarfs mine!
MSP: You're so kind. I can't seem to help mys elf.
JD: Oh no you didn't! IT takes a lot of Goll-um... to start a pun war like that.
MSP: Oh no I did ent?
Oh yes I did!
CB: you just keep dragon 'em out of nowhere...
MSP: My bad sense of humor is the Oliphaunt in the room.
I am such a huge dorc.
JD: This could turn in to a real Eye-Saur-on this thread...
CB: you really should learn to con troll yourself.
MSP: Singin Eoh, where's my Lego
JD: that really Stings.
MSP: Nice earWormtongue, eh? Here's another:
If you like it then you shoulda put a GlamdRing on it!
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Daron Denton: One does not simply change the thermostat.
JD: It's getting so thick in here it's like Smaug.
DD: It's bad, for Shire.
MSP: It's not that big of a bombadil.
DD: All this banter gives mithril.
MSP: It's not Faramie to be this witty, is it?
DD: Are you baggins for attention?
CB: Should we all take an Otho to stop?
DD: Don't tell me you're getting Sauron all these exchanges?!?!
CB: I'm just afraid if I go to far someone might Mordor me.
Jason Wagner: Haha.. Wait until its time for Tauntaun marker jokes!!
MSP: You'll all orthanc me for this later.
CB: Yawn... this is starting to boromir me...
Steve Bennett: The Hobbit: Decimation of Language.
MSP: Aryagorn to stop reading now?
CB: ... was looking for a way to use that one!
MSP: Shoulda kept looking. As you know, not all those who wander are lost.
SB: I'll only stop reading if you have one pun to bind them all.
CB: I've heard that somewhere... ah well, the road goes ever on...
MSP: My eyes are starting to tirith with laughter.
DD: Well, now that Samwiseguy defiled this beautiful masterpiece with StarWars posts, the moment has passed.
MSP: His attempt was better than luke warm.
Robert Green: You're still surrounded by nerds HERE!
MSP: ~smiles~ I needed the Company, that's why I came here... It's like being in a cozy hole in the ground.
JW: All of these posts are precious...
Michael Drozda: It TOOK me awhile but I'm catching on...
MSP: I wish I had a Brandybuck every time it Took me awhile. ;)
Shannon Stone: Ahh, MY sister! Melanie, every time I think I must be the biggest nerd alive - you remind me that I cannot compete with your nerd knowledge.
MSP: Shannon, it's so nice that you envy my vast superiority. Or my vast posteriority, whichever.
These punwars are a gray haven for a nerd like me.
SS: I definitely envy both!
MSP: Minas is pretty impressive, isn't it?
SB: YOU SHALL NOT SURPASS MELANIE!!!!
MSP: Say u man.
Not that I'll argue, cause if I did, arwen by a landslide.
Diane Fioretti: I am a nerd but wouldn't get that one either. I get what a hobbit is but have never seen the movies or read the books.
MSP: We are no longer friends.
SB: So much for that^^^ fellowship...
MSP: Ah, she'll give me a ring and we'll be as cool as Caradhras.
Scott Wilcox: One does not simply make LOTR puns.